Why Asking For Help With Your Money Is So Hard

Asking for help when it comes to your money kinda feels like asking for a tampon in junior high when Flo caught you by surprise. 

Stay with me. 

Let’s paint this scenario: You wait, hoping the timing will work out with the bell so you can go dig around your locker and pray to the baby J that you have an extra in there because,  EFF,  you sure as s**t don’t want to tell the teacher and you’d like to avoid walking in front of the class cuz...you just aren’t sure what the damage is just yet! 

You wait as long as you can until you’re just too uncomfortable and silently freaking out. So you ask for help because no one wants a clean up on aisle six in math class...ya know? 

OOF...did that stir up some not-so-awesome feelings?

Well, I’m not surprised because your period and money have a couple of things in common: 

• Both are often deemed embarrassing topics (although they are both natural) 

• The longer you wait to take action, the worse it gets

WHY IS IT SO HARD TO ASK FOR HELP? 

Periods aside, the main factor that will keep you from asking for help when it comes to your money? 

YOU THINK YOU SHOULD ALREADY KNOW HOW TO MANAGE IT. 

I’m not sure how this gets drilled into our brains. If we actually looked at what we were taught and skills we worked on when it relates to our money, we’d find that we didn’t learn anything about really managing our money. 

Most of us learn: 

• Money is bad and stressful

• There is never enough

• Rich people are stingy and if you want more money you are a bad person

• Credit cards are bad

• Being on a budget is AWFUL - worse than drinking instant coffee

Oh lord!  That’s a long list of negatives. 

Because we feel like we should already know how to manage it, the fact that we don’t and are struggling triggers LOTS OF SHAME.  

And feeling ashamed will keep you right where you are buttercup. It’s often the trigger for avoiding your money at all costs praying aliens come and take you away. 

But it doesn’t have to be that way. 

So how do we move from feelings of shame so we can actually ask for help? 

First - let’s peep the definition of shame: a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.

Those last words are really important because they are definitely associated with your money. 

So, you might be thinking - I might not know how to actually manage my money day to day, but I KNOW I should be doing things differently and not living the yolo life on my credit card. 

Sure. Most of us know that. But that’s usually the extent of it. 

HERE’S WHY THAT DOESN’T FLY: 

When we experience true shame, as in - you are uttering the words “I’m ashamed that…” - you actually KNOW what to do differently. And when it comes to your money, most individuals don’t actually know what to do differently. And that, my friend, is the basis to kick that shame to the curb. 

How do we move through it?  Utilizing some good questioning (one of my favorites). 

1. Are you doing the best you can with the knowledge and tools you have? 

2. If not, what can shift? 

3. If yes, what can shift for better results? 

That’s it. 3 simple questions.

Sure, we can go further, but if you can get past these, you’re most likely moving into a space of acceptance and away from shame and that’s what we want sweet friend. We have to start where we are. 

Remember: progress is progress and when you ask for help when it comes to your money, you actually learn the skills you need to manage and trust yourself and that will positively serve you for the rest of your life. 

Livin’ & Lovin’ 

Bri 

P.S. The great news, you can silently ask for help and take action simply by visiting my “work with me” page. I outline all the ways we can jam together.