You Define Beautiful
I finally finished putting up my holiday decorations. It took me 2 weeks and, well...that is a REALLY long time for me. I’ll be honest, this holiday feels different. And I KNOW it is because I feel more focused on things that matter. Not that I wasn't before, but I’ll be honest, I’m a total control freak and a perfectionist so "goin' with it" during the holiday season is something that I REALLY have to make myself do because my perfectionism gets in the way of me having JOY! Can you relate?
So, last week I talked to you about “Livin’ the Betty Life” and I was told that I was not spending my energy resources very well (I’m still on the meditation train!), right? Well, not by plan, late that week I had a moment...actually moments of some negative self-love (oxymoron right there), which is part of the “relationship” bucket in The Betty Life. I wasn’t proud of of these thoughts. Actually, I was disappointed in myself. Let me break it down.
Recently, my skin has decided it would prefer to behave as if it is 13 after a bath of Noxzema (throwback!) and not like the almost 38 year old that it is. It is breaking out like crazy pants. And, actually...when I say recently, I mean more like 6 months. I KNOW my hormones are all bonkers and it has been a real struggle to get them back to a happy place. Girl, I’ve done everything natural that I can get my hands on. It gets better, and then it goes back. And I’ll tell you, it’s one rollercoaster that I DO.NOT.LIKE.
This is why I’m disappointed: I have allowed this to impact my self confidence.Especially when it comes to not having make-up on. Truth be told, I have always thought I looked weird completely without make-up on and that is mostly because my eyebrows are naturally really light and when I don’t fill them in….well...it looks like I don’t have any (LET.ME.TELL.YOU...A good eyebrow makes a difference). This all spiraled when I was playing with the portrait setting on my new phone and took a selfie. When I looked at the picture...I was repulsed. I could barely look at it. I immediately wanted to delete it. I quickly told myself that it wasn’t pretty.
All of those thoughts and tendencies made me sad, mad and disappointed and so many other feelings. And mostly because, I am a VERY optimistic and positive person by nature. It is easy for me to see the good or the beauty in instances or situations. And in that moment, I couldn't show myself the same grace that I teach so many people to practice.
So this is what I did:
I didn’t delete the picture. OH, I WANTED TO! Instead, I kept it on my phone.
- I kept looking at it and decided that anytime I was in my photos file, I would look at it.
I decided that when I looked at it, I had to say one thing about it that I thought was beautiful. I know I have the power to change the thoughts in my head, so I have to actually do it.
Easy? Nope. Getting easier? Yes. Will we always be works in progress? Absolutely.
When I started The School of Betty I committed to always being transparent and real with any struggle I was having that I thought someone could relate to or, simply show that I am flawed. Which means, I’m human. And THAT is beautiful.
Every single day we will be challenged with “perfection” and the definition of “beautiful” and those challenges won’t be easy. But, I believe that small, consistent effort and actions will take you to incredible places and it starts with you.
So, the end of this year is becoming (unexpectedly) really reflective, but it’s a good thing. Remember as we head into the final weeks of 2017, that we MUST show ourselves the same care and love that we give to others, because we freakin’ deserve it!
I’ll be right there with you. What will you do these final weeks to show yourself some "self-love"?
Livin’ & Lovin’
P.S. I am officially 7 days into my 30 day challenge of practicing 10 minutes of meditation and 10 minutes of journaling each morning! It hasn’t been easy but it is getting easier. I find myself looking forward to that very quiet 10 minutes. I pretty much spend the whole time trying to stop myself from thinking of the things I need to do, but...you gotta start somewhere right!?